Some leaders try to push the river. Others learn to float.

In one of my favorite books, Benjamin Hoff's "The Tao of Pooh" taught me that flow happens when we stop forcing and start listening. Esther Perel's work reminds me that relationships—at work or at home—thrive in the space between what is said and what is heard. And Esther Derby, in "7 Rules for Positive, Productive Change", keeps me mindful that that growth is nurtured, not engineered—you plant seeds, tend the soil, and trust that the conditions you create will bear fruit.

Great leadership lives there too.

- It’s in the quiet pause before you respond.
- It's in the trust built when you let someone else steer.
- It's in the curiosity that makes others feel seen, not managed.
- It's in the quiet work of cultivating an environment where people can thrive without you pushing every moment forward.

The best leaders do all of these: they listen, they nurture trust, they create a people-centered environment, and they create conditions where teams grow without constant pushing.

Because when the river is moving in the right direction, your job isn’t to paddle harder—it’s to create the space for everyone to travel with ease and purpose.

Question for you: What’s one way you’ve recently tended your team’s “soil” instead of tightening the controls?

Blog Post:
The hardest leadership lesson I ever learned was to Stop Trying To Be The Hero.

Early in my career, I believed leadership meant having the answers.
Jump in. Fix the issue. Push the team forward.

It "felt" like winning — until I realized what I was really doing was stealing the win from others.

As I have grown and learned, I have discovered many helpful things in this area.

Brené Brown taught me vulnerability is the birthplace of trust.
L. David Marquet showed the best leaders give control, not take it.
📚Michael Bungay Stanier dared me to stay curious longer, rush to action less.

As an executive coach and transformation leader, I’ve seen the powerful shift that occurs.

When you stop being the hero in the room…
you start creating the space for others to become heroes themselves.

My proudest moments now?

Not when I saved the day — but when someone else did, without needing my permission or direction.


Question for you: When have you stepped back… and discovered that was your greatest act of leadership?